Chack: The Insanity We Call Life
by Doubleblood
Summary: Just a bunch of shorts I put together. Hope you like, please review! Rated M because I don't trust myself.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi, everyone! I keep reading a bunch of fics where the author just takes a random word or something they like and write a small fic (or ficlet for some of you that may be weird. I call them midget stories, but… *shrug*). I wanted to try it. Reviews fuel the giant squirrel feeder and flames heat the giant fire that will destroy the world!**

**Also, credit to CrystallicSky for creating Diol! 8D**

Cat-

Chase couldn't help but stare at his mate in absolute and complete horror as Jack laughed on the floor. On the computer screen was a YouTube video put on full screen, with an old lady in a pink shirt, a weird looking little kid with orange-brown eyes, and another kid that looked like a cough drop in a red car with blood on the windshield.

"_Incidentally," _The old lady said,_ "don't ever get raped by a domestic cat, Mr. Tran. You know why cats always howl when they have sex? They have barbed penises that destroy the vagina on the way out and it ruins you for all the other cats!"_

The boy with the normal head looked at her and replied,_ "Um… I have to get back and start cooking dinner!"_

"_Dinner? A boy your age? What you ought to be doing is taking off your top and getting killed by Greg Kinnear."_

Jack doubled over in laughter and looked at Chase.

The dragon stared at his albino before rubbing his forehead in pain.

At the sound of Jack's shrieks, Diol came in. The jaguar looked at his master, then Jack. Jack stared at the cat and laughed harder.

Chase looked back at the computer screen, _"Where will you be taking us?" _The ugly little boy, Mr. Tran, apparently, asked.

The old lady replied,_ "__Oh, you know...__Here and there, out and around__, __round and about, hither and thither, back and forth, to and fro, up and down, in and out, over and under, hippity hoppity, round the corner, over the river and through the woods, lickety split, clockin' the jizz, grindin' the axe, up to no good, nippin' the bud, good and plenty, loligaggin' around, makin' the rounds, paintin' the town red, packin' a load, huggin' a tree, skinnin' the dog, skip to my loo, sowing my oats, passin' a stone, shootin' the breeze, jumpin' the fence, humpin' the horse, dancin' a jig, spinnin' a yarn, sippin' the cider, flexin' the pecks, broomin' my doo, packin' the peat, lickin' the chicken, pinchin' the pennies, dosey do,"_

"_Shut up! Why don't you just shut up right now!"_

Chase immediately left the room. He went to find the telephone and his human disguise. He needed to hire someone to disconnect the internet to the point that even Jack could fix it.

School-

Chase hated the school year just as much as Jack did. He didn't attend school anymore, but Jack was required to. He would be tired as soon as he returned, slump to their shared room, do his homework, watch something on YouTube (damn that last mechanic. Obviously he wasn't good enough, as two days after the internet had been cut; Jack was watching stuff on YouTube again.), and go straight to sleep. Many times he skipped out on dinner to sleep longer.

Finally, Chase got annoyed with this and, while Jack was at school, went to find the source of his mate's lack of energy.

Two weeks later, Jack got the greatest surprise of his life.

"Okay, we got a new kid." His first period teacher grumbled, "This is the kid. Make nice, now open your books and read the chapter."

Everyone looked at the kid the teacher had just sent to his seat. The boy sat down next to Jack and smiled.

"What are you doing here?" Jack hissed.

"I get lonely without you, Jack." The new kid smiled.

"I love you, too, Chase."

Chocolate-

"What do you want, Spicer?" Chase snapped at the small wannabe-Heylin.

Jack blushed, "Well, it's valentine's day and I wanted to give you these chocolates."

Chase took the box and tossed them over the side of his mountain, "Go away, Spicer."

Jack hung his head and activated his helipak, flying off. Halfway home, though, something when _POP_! And the boy fell from the sky. Though only just above the treetops, he was injured badly. He groaned, his leg broken and his Helipak shattered. He bit his watch to activate a line between him and Lamia.

_'Yes, Jack?' _She asked.

"I'm hurt. I need you to come get me…" He groaned.

She was there immediately, wrapping up all cuts and resetting his leg into place. He screamed as she did this, but knew it was for the best. She wrapped his leg and teleported them home.

So Jack spent two weeks at home… bored. He walked around on his crutches, fixing his helipak and baking whatever he felt like.

When he was healed, he went to Chase's citadel once again.

"I thought, perhaps, you didn't like chocolate…" Jack handed him a new box, "So I made cupcakes this time."

"You are persistent, Spicer."

Jack blushed, "I get that a lot…"

Chase took a cupcake from the box and took a bite. He blinked and looked at Jack, "You made these?

"Yeah…"

Chase grabbed the boy and dragged him inside, "You will make me another batch of chocolates and shall stay in my home until I say you can leave."

Jack giggled, "Lamia was right. You do have a sweet tooth."

Guitar-

Everyone stared at Clay.

"Why are y'all starin' at me?"

Lamia opted to speak, "None of us know how to play the guitar… except you. So… this Wu is useless to us."

The Manipulating Guitar could put anyone in a frame of mind that the player wished them to be in. Clay looked at the Wu in his hands and propped it on his knee, strumming lightly before playing a song.

Just a few seconds into the song Chase jumped Jack and the pair proceeded to make-out. Kimiko and Rai also ate at each other's faces, and Lamia danced with Omi.

Clay smiled. Now there was no denying it. Chase Young had a thing for Jack…

Map-

Jack looked at his domination map and sighed. What was he going to do if the monks stole all the Wu he had, Wuya wouldn't dare help him, and all he was able to steal back was the Monkey Staff?

Well, at least it was fun.

He hung upside down, like Lamia liked to, holding onto the bars that decorated the ceiling with his tail.

"Hello, Spicer."

Jack yelped and fell, hitting his head before dropping the Staff and looking up at who had just come in.

"Chase! What is with Heylin and not liking to knock?"

Chase shrugged, "I have a proposition for you, Spicer. You have matured quite well, and I ask you become my apprentice."

"Wh-what! I mean, yes! Of course!"

"Good." Chase smiled and held out a hand.

Jack took it and let the warlord help him to his feet. He brushed himself off and picked up the Monkey Staff.

"Why are you so attached to that thing?"

"It's fun… and since I use it so much, I've kept some of the flexibility!" He demonstrated by reaching backwards and touching his heels.

Chase fought the urge to jump the boy right then and there and have him against that pathetic map Jack used. No, he was still a child, and patience would allow the boy freedom before submitting to Chase. For now, he would be an apprentice, in the near future, a consort.

Carpet-

As soon as Jack walked into his new room, he began coughing.

"Spicer, what's wrong?"

"I have no idea, Chase…" Jack wheezed out before breaking into another coughing fit and running off to try and get some air. Chase looked around the room. Nothing was different from when anyone else had slept there.

He followed the small albino to find him just outside the citadel on his hands and knees, coughing and gasping for breath.

"Are you alright?" Chase asked.

Jack nodded, "Yes… I'm fine… I have no idea what just happened, though. That's never happened before."

Chase tried to think of what could've caused the coughing fit, but could think of none.

"Maybe… something certain… made you cough."

Jack shrugged, turning to sit cross-legged. He looked at his boots and blinked, pulling one off.

"What are you-?"

Jack sniffed the bottom of his shoe and began coughing again.

"Chase!" Jack coughed out, "Do me a favor, please."

"Yes?"

"Get rid of the carpet. Apparently, I'm allergic to it."

Chase smiled, "Sure thing, Spicer."

**Cat- I couldn't help it. I had to do it. The voices, they told me to! I just love Dr. Tran's Toy Cack! XD**

**School- Awwwwww, Chase missed his Jackie!**

**Chocolate- Chase didn't think Jack could bake, if you couldn't tell. Jack sure showed him!**

**Guitar- … I think I have some sort of mental disorder. I really do.**

**Map- Chase! Shame on you! Thinking such nasty things about Jack. You shouldn't think, you should act. *smirks***

**Carpet- This ****can be a sequel to either Chocolate or Map, whichever you want. But Jack is moving in with Chase... and is allergic to the carpeting... I fail at life.**

***hides in a corner in shame***

**Reviews are used to make a giant teddy bear for Jack to snuggle, flames are used to help Kimiko practice her element.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Yay! More shorts! I'm doing pretty good with this. Oh, yeah.**

Ice Cream-

"Ice cream, ice cream, yummy, yummy, ice cream!" Jack chanted and licked the frozen treat.

Chase rolled his eyes, "Why do you insist on eating such unhealthy snacks?"

"Because they're so yummy! Try!" Jack held his chocolate ice cream cone up to the Warlord. Chase hesitated, but licked a little off.

"It's cold…"

"_Ice _cream, Chase."

Chase looked at Jack, "I still don't understand why you insist on being so unhealthy."

"Because it's funny when I bake something and then the man who gets on my case to eat healthy tackles the sugar-filled treats."

Chase paused, "Touché."

Videotape-

Chase grabbed Jack by his shoulders, pulling him closer, and practically eating his mouth. Jack responded to the kiss immediately, opening his mouth in complete submission to the Heylin Prince.

After a few seconds, Jack was against a wall, his legs around Chase's waist, his hands urgently trying to undo Chase's armor.

They both stopped, feeling a strange presence…

They looked behind Chase, seeing what looked like a ninja hanging from the ceiling, hair in a long ponytail that fell close to the ground.

"Oh, please, continue, boys!" The ninja smiled, "Ignore me!"

Chase set Jack down and grabbed the video camera.

Lamia pulled off his mask and frowned, "You're no fun, Chase!" And teleported away.

Chase ripped out the tape, crushed it, and threw the camera and ripped recording away, finding more interest in the giggling redhead.

Triangle-

"Lamia, you aren't here to record us again, are you?" Chase demanded.

"No." Lamia growled and pushed the pair apart before flinging Jack over her shoulder and beginning to walk away.

Chase followed, "What are you doing with jack?"

"I'm taking him home."

"Why?"

"Because apparently, you are way too much of a distraction. His grades are slipping and I don't care if I have to put up with the façade that I am his mother again, he will not fail!"

Chase looked at Jack, "You said you were doing your work."

Jack stuck out his tongue.

"Jack Spicer, if you don't bring up your grades, so help me, I will sign you up for band and make you play the triangle!" Lamia snapped.

"I'll do better, I swear!"

Chase glared, "Yes, you will, or you will not reside in my home again."

"How come the one time you guys work together is to bully me!" Jack yelled.

Lamia smiled, "It's because we love you, Jack. Though we have different kinds of love, it's still love."

Jack sighed, "Fine."

"That's a good albino. Now, it's time to do some make-up science work. Bye Chase."

Ring-

"Dammit, Chase, you suck."

Chase looked at Jack in surprise, "Why do you say that?"

Jack held up his hand, motioning to the ring he wore, "This!"

"I thought you liked black and gold…"

"I do. I love the ring. It's really pretty. You suck because when I opened it I thought you were proposing to me."

Chase chuckled.

"But, no! It had to be a damn promise ring, didn't it!"

"Jack, I'm simply waiting for you to turn legal before I propose. And, besides, if I were to propose to you, it would be in a much more romantic way." Chase kissed his young lover, "Not simply a Christmas present."

Jacks sighed, "Yeah, I guess that makes sense…"

Horizon-

"What cha lookin' at, Jack?" Lamia asked.

The albino looked at his guardian, "The horizon."

Lamia paused, looking in the direction Jack was, sitting next to him on the edge of Chase's Mountain of Doom.

"Yeah, this would probably be better for you if you were with Chase." Lamia sighed, "I mean, it's pretty and all, but, I'm not your lover…"

"No… I want to sit with you for now, Lamia…"

She paused and looked at the red-head beside her. Slowly, she smiled and wrapped her arm around Jack's shoulders.

"Do I worry you, Lamia?"

She sighed, "Less now than before, but yes. You go into fights you are obviously outmatched in, you are hurt every day by those machines of yours when repairing them, and you remain awake longer than any normal human…"

He leaned against her, "I'm sorry. I don't mean to worry you. I just want to be better."

She smiled, "Then do me a favor."

"Okay…"

"Go inside and find Chase. Ask him to help you become more resistant to pain and stringer so you can defend yourself. We will both help."

"Really?"

"All you need do is ask, Jack, and we will gladly assist… depending on the circumstance."

Dignity-

This war had been going on for so long, only an immortal could truly see its horrid effects. Water Tribe numbers fell from thousands to the small hundreds, Earthbenders were only safe within Ba Sing Sey, but that would soon change due to the drill that had been launched to make the wall crumble. And the Air Nomads were… gone.

Lamia couldn't believe this madness. She was an excellent Firebender, she could Bend lightning just weeks after it being introduced to her, but she could never use her amazing powers before any that weren't Fire Benders themselves, otherwise she would be arrested and killed.

So, walking the streets on a small Fire Nation town, she felt safe. She was amongst those like her. They would never hurt her.

A small cry came to her ears, piercing her soul. She turned to see a small boy, dressed all in black, his hair a bright fiery red.

"Come on, kid!" Same older men laughed, shooting flames at the boys heels, "Why don't you play!"

"Leave me alone!"

Arcs of electricity landed between the men and the small child. Lamia glared at the offenders, her arms still stretched in a fighting stance, waiting for the men to attack.

"Surely men such as you would not attempt a play on this boy's life!" She said, moving to stand before the child, "You must have more dignity than that!"

"Get out of here, girl" One laughed, obviously drunk.

She covered her hands in flames, "I suggest you leave. Now. Otherwise I will have all right to destroy your pitiful souls right here and turn you to nothing but ashes."

With a warning blast at their feet, the men were off. Lamia let her flames die and turned to the boy behind her.

"Are you alright?"

He nodded slowly, moving to his feet.

"Can you Bend?" She asked.

"Only slightly… I'm not that good… but I have no one to teach me…"

"I will teach you." She smiled, "What is your name?"

"Jack. Jack Spicer."

"I am Lamia. Now, come. You have much to learn."

**Ice Cream- LOL, sort of a continuation of Chocolate from the previous chapter… in a way, I guess…**

**Videotape- Lamia likes to spy on her Master and her former student. XD**

**Triangle- No man wants to play triangle… even Jack has too must testosterone to want that.**

**Ring- Aw, isn't that just sweet? Chase is being all old school and giving Jack a promise ring!**

**Horizon- A cute moment between Lamia and Jack.**

**Dignity- Avatar: The last Airbender crossover, if you can't tell.**

**Reviews are used to make Omi a wig, Flames are used to throw at Wuya!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey, it's me again. This is getting really fun! Well, I hope you enjoy what my insanity my provide this time!**

**And thanks to everyone who reviews! I love getting on and seeing I have reviews! Each one makes me smile more!**

Campaign-

"Jack, what in the Seven Hells are you doing?" Chase asked.

"I'm putting together a campaign! See, near my house, we're electing a new city council, so, I have my own ideas of who should run it!" He held up one of the signs he'd drawn.

_VOTE LAMIA FOR CITY OFFICIAL!_

Chase stared at Jack for a second, "You've gone mad, haven't you? I need to call the insane asylum on you, too, don't I?"

"Who else have you called the asylum on?" Jack asked.

Chase held up on of Jack posters.

"Oh… well… I can see Lamia as the type going…" He wrapped his arms around himself and turned his back on Chase, looking over his shoulder to him, "Hey you see the clasps in the back? Yeah, those. Undo 'em for me. Yeah, just like that… do you have a lighter?"

Chase laughed.

"That's why she's perfect for government!" Jack laughed.

Chase pondered this, "Where do you want these posters at?"

Paper towel-

"Jack, your first lesson will be easy." Lamia grabbed a roll of paper towels and slammed them on the table in front of Jack, "I want you to burn every square on these towels. One at a time."

"You're sure this will help my Firebending?"

"Yes. It will help you control the fire, because if you get scorch marks on my table, you're dead."

Jack nodded, "Okay…"

"I'll be out in the town. I'll be back in two hours. You don't have to be done by then, though. This is about control, not speed."

When she returned, tired from training herself and carrying bags of food, there was a pile of ashes on her table, a plate underneath it. Jack lay on the couch, sleeping, the tips of his fingers burnt.

She smiled, "Yes… I know what to do with you now, child." Lamia smiled, "We are going to the North Pole…"

Sleepwalk-

Chase learned something very quickly about Jack.

If he had had a particularly rough day, full of homework from school and Shen Gong Wu and Showdowns and training to become stronger, he would sleepwalk.

Today was one of those days. Jack had Algebra homework, European History homework, Biology homework, and needed a current Health topic for HOPE. In the middle of his European History homework, His Wu detector went off. He fought for the Wu, got his butt kicked, and flew home, ready to work again, when Chase got home and demanded he take a break from school work and train. So they spent a half hour on that before another Wu revealed itself. Jack actually won this one, and earned a thumbs-up from Lamia and a kiss from Chase. He went back to work and was almost done with Biology when another Wu appeared. He went after it, but refused the Showdown, using the excuse 'I hate my life' and flying off. He sat back in his room and finished Biology and looked up a Health topic, printing it and writing a summary and some notes from his presentation to the class.

He got out of his room and went downstairs to get to work on dinner. He was able to relax then, and eating was calm and peaceful.

But just as he about to cuddle up next to Chase, he yelled a slew of swear words and leapt to his feet, grabbing his bag and pulling his European History book from his bag and opening it, grabbing paper and a pencil, outlining the chapter.

Chase stayed up with the boy, waiting calmly as Jack worked. When the boy finally slammed his book shut and threw it to the floor, he swept the younger in his arms and laid him in bed.

Jack was asleep instantly.

About ten minutes after the boy fell asleep; he was up, walking around and running into things.

Chase sighed and grabbed his sleepwalking lover and setting him in bed again, curling up with the small boy and holding him tightly.

Jack didn't walk around anymore.

At least for that night.

Homosexual-

"Jack, you're pathetic!"

"Can't you do anything!"

"Jack Spicer, you have absolutely no strength!"

"You're weaker than a bull with two feet and a snake bite!"

Jack glared.

Wuya rolled her eyes at the boy, "Maybe if you weren't so _gay_ you could do something!"

Everyone laughed.

Jack glared and snatched the Staff of Sōngshǔ from Omi. He pointed it at the small monk and called out its name, activating it.

Omi's eyes widened in fear as a giant swarm of squirrels attacked him. He ran, screaming in horror.

Lamia sat in a tree just beyond the field the small group stood, watching Jack, bright orange eyes full of anger.

Jack slammed the staff into Clay's back, sending him into Kimiko and tripping them both. Raimundo tried to grab him, but he grabbed Wuya by her hair and slammed the two together. He stood, still ready to fight as Kimiko sent blasts of fire at him. He stared in horror as no escape was possible.

He clenched his eyes shut, waiting to feel the pain.

But it never came.

He opened his eyes to see Chase in front of him, looking at him.

"Are you alright, Spicer?"

Jack glared, "What do you want, Chase! You come here to mock me, too! Come to make fun of the pathetic homosexual boy!"

"Spicer…"

"Well, I won't be nice anymore! I'm going to kill all of you! You'll all bow to my feet in mercy and get a bullet to the face! You'll all die at mmmph!"

Chase grabbed Jack by his wrists and connected their mouths.

"Perfect." Chase smiled.

Accused-

Chase Young you are accused of murder, theft, and rape. How do you plead?"

"Innocent."

Jack Spicer watched the Warlord he so loved. He did not murder Wuya, he rid the world of a torture. Besides, she was still a ghost. He did not steal from her, Shen Gong Wu were meant to be taken from one another. And he did not rape her. He wouldn't even touch her at all, much less sexually.

And besides, if he needed to touch someone that way, he always had Jack.

Creed-

"Jack, what are you doing!" Chase yelled, "You're making so much noise I can't hear myself think, much less meditate!"

"Oh, sorry, Chase. I'm just almost done with this game…"

Chase looked at the game case, "Assassin's Creed? That's it. I'm monitoring what you buy from now on. Always. Not Lamia. Last she did, you were able to buy twenty hundred boxes of Hershey kisses."

Jack pouted, "Aw, you're no fun. Come on. Play with me!"

Chase sighed and gave in. Why not?

**Campain- Because, who doesn't want a crazy, immortal demon in charge of their town?**

**Paper Towel- Continuation of Dignity**

**Sleepwalk- Jackie had a rough day… so he starts sleepwalking. But Chase finds a way to stop the sleepwalking.**

**Homosexual- Reappearance of the ****Staff of ****Sōngsh****ǔ****!****Sōngsh****ǔ ****means squirrel, so it's the Staff of Squirrels. And Omi was so proud of himself for getting it, too.**

**Accused- Chase is put on trial for Wuya's murder.**

**Creed- Jack gets Assassin's Creed and the noise disturbs Chase's work.**

**Once again, reviews help Jack's plan to rule the world, flames are used to heat Chase's bath!**


	4. Chapter 4

**I. Have. Returned.**

**And I have a very important question. I mean, really important. The fate of the world rests in this question. If I don't know the answer, we will all die and Jack Spicer will become normal and have doctors fix his albinism and Chase Young will cut his hair! I must know…**

**Do you like tacos?**

Full-length-

"Hey, Chase?"

"Yes?" Chase opened one eye to the small boy.

"Did you ever notice how commercials for movies will say: A full-length motion picture? Is there a not full-length version?"

"I don't know." Chase sighed and closed his eye in meditation once again.

Jack shrugged and continued his game of solitaire.

Determination-

Jack could easily say he was weary of this girl who was helping him.

Those drunken Firebenders had caught him on his way home and decided they wanted to play with him. So Jack ran to the center of town. Surely, they wouldn't rape him there…

What he didn't expect was a tall pale girl to protect him. She wore her inky black hair high, her outfit a black sleeveless top, a red sash around her waist, and black pants. She had long almost-sleeves hanging from her biceps that dangled just above the ends of her gloved fingers.

But the one thing that shocked him most was when she woke him up, dressed in a blue shirt, matching pants, a blue version of her arm-sleeves, and boots, shoving some blue clothes at him and demanding her put them one, saying, "We're going to see Santa Clause."

He wasn't afraid to admit he thought she had lost whatever marbles she had left.

But he did as she demanded, following her through town, dressed as a Waterbender, and boarded the Fire Nation trains with her.

"What are you two doing here?" one man asked.

Lamia rolled her eyes, "We're going chicken hunting. What do you think we're doing? We're riding the damn train. Now sit back down before I throw you off while this train is still moving!"

As a threat she slammed her foot into his red-clothed chest and forced him backwards into a seat.

Lamia looked at Jack a frowned, "Your red hair is a dead giveaway. We'll have to get you a hat."

"You are so lucky I'm determined to learn to Firebend."

She smiled and they got off the train at their stop. Lamia looked around for a little while before shoving Jack's flame-red hair into a blue hat, hiding it completely. She smiled and paid for the hat, taking the boy to a boat and getting two tickets to the North Pole.

Now, any normal person would've flinched at the sound of the price for Lamia and Jack's tickets, but lamia simply paused, scrambled through her pockets and pulled out a small bag, dropping it on the counter. The man went through the coins, looking at her, ready to be greedy and take the whole bag when she held a fiery fist in front of his nose and he gave her all the change and the tickets.

"See, Jack. You're determined to learn," She handed him his ticket and smiled, "and I'm determined to teach you."

Collector-

Lamia followed her ears around Chase's Citadel, looking for the source of the music she was hearing.

"Chase?" She asked, looking the meditation room.

Chase opened his eyes and looked at his former teacher, "What?"

"Do you hear that? It's annoying the crap out of me and cutting my concentration on my training, which is small enough as it is."

"I've learned to ignore the music Spicer plays."

"Well, excuse me for leaving for a month and getting out of that habit."

Chase put his feet down on the ground and sighed, "Let's find him."

The pair walked throughout the Citadel and finally found Jack down in the Lair Chase had built for the boy, listening to YouTube as he worked.

"Jack, what are you listening to?" Lamia asked.

Jack paused and looked up at the immortals in his doorway, "Oh, hi. Is it too loud? Sorry. It's something I found lying around my house. It's a band called the Monkees, this is the song Star Collector and I absolutely hate it, but background noise is the only thing that keeps me sane around these robots." Jack paused and yelled, "RoboJack, leave the CheerBots alone!"

The bots all scattered.

Lamia sighed, "That's it. I'm getting you some of those Skullcandy headphones and a portable CD player."

"Thank you!"

Aid-

'Mr. Spicer, there's another person here for the job interview.'

That was all Jack wanted to hear from his assistant. But, no, he had to hire Lamia, his adopted older sister. So instead of that he heard…

"Yo, Jackie, the dude for your fifteen hundred for that aid job you're hiring for."

Jack sighed, "Let them in." He fixed his glasses and closed his laptop.

A tall man with long dark hair and piercing yellow eyes came in. Lamia pointed at him and gave Jack two thumbs up.

He glared at the girl and smiled at the man who had walked in.

"Well, hello. I'm Jack Spicer, and you are?"

The man smiled, "Chase Young."

"My sister didn't do anything while you were out there, did she? I've lost so many applicants because of her ramblings."

Chase sat in the chair in front of Jack's desk, "No, Miss Lamia is quite the conversationalist. Are you sure you two aren't related?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you both are relatively pale and have strangely colored eyes."

Jack smiled, "No, Lamia's just naturally that way. I'm albino."

Chase smiled, "Interesting."

"Well, Mr. Young, why do you think I should hire you for this job?"

"I don't."

Jack paused, "What?"

"Not anymore." Chase smiled, "You're much too beautiful to resist. If you hired me, I would most definitely make several attempts to make you mine."

Jack had read through Chase's report, the man was perfect for the job, brilliant and good at persuading people.

Jack stood and smiled, "You're hired."

Chase also stood and grabbed Jack by the back of his neck, kissing him passionately.

To his mild surprise, his new boss kissed back.

McDonalds-

"That's it!" Jack screamed, slamming his fists onto the dinner table, "I can't take this anymore! We never talk over food, which I used to be okay with, but now it freaks me out because the silence keeps Lamia calm and that just _unnatural_. I'm going to do something to get us something to talk about over meals. The three of us are all getting jobs!"

Chase rolled his eyes and Lamia began laughing like the March Hare.

"What's so funny?" Chase asked.

"I'm sorry… I just imagined going into McDonalds and seeing Chase in one of those paper hats, smiling and saying, 'Would you like fries with that?'!"

Terminal-

"Lamia, go check that terminal!"

Lamia pushed a few buttons on her controller.

"No, this one looks like an inverted United States. We need a seven…"

Chase watched as the pair of them slowly walked through their game, Gears of War two, looking for the character Maria.

When they found her, Lamia demanded Jack skip the clip scene.

"Why?" Jack asked. This was only his first time playing the second game, so he watched as Lamia played with her hair.

Jack's eyes widened as Dom killed Maria to help her.

"Oh my gods…" He gasped, "That was so sad!"

"I know, right!" Lamia answered.

"I agree with Dom!" Jack said, "Let's kill 'em all!"

Lamia smiled, "It's murder time!"

Chase sighed, "I'm lucky to retain my sanity around these two."

**Full-length- I've heard it one some commercials and I thought it would work with this. *shrug***

**Determination- Continuation of Dignity and Paper Towel.**

**Collector- I'm like Jack. I have a YouTube playlist that I listen to as I write. I don't listen it, but it's better than complete silence. I don't go for mood, I go for has a good beat and isn't Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana. Like, right now I'm listening to Korn's version of Kidnap The Sandy Claws.**

**Aid- I don't think I have a comment on this besides…. UNDER THE DESK SEX!**

**McDonalds- Who wouldn't laugh at that!**

**Terminal- Gears of War 2 spoiler! If you haven't played and will, and you just read that story… sorry.**

**Hm… I've been looking at these reviews all wrong. Reviews are loved and used to fuel the giant pot used to make Hannibal Bean into chili and Flames are used to burn Kimiko's clothes.**

**Cuz who doesn't wanna turn Hannibal into chili! 8D And burniong Kimiko's clothes is bad. **_**Very bad.**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey, again! Reza here!**

**I learned something the other day…**

**Mimes make even less sense when you can't see them. Thank you, Mr. Geico commercial man for pointing that out to me. XD**

Concourse-

"Chase… what does concourse mean?"

"Why?" The Everlord asked, looking up from his book.

Jack held up what he was reading, "Because I just came across it in my book."

Chase blinked. He had heard Jack come in, but when had the boy sat down by his feet?

"Chase?"

"I'm sorry, what was the question?"

"What does concourse mean?"

Chase tried to think, but all his mind would focus on was the fact that Jack was sitting right between his legs…

"Chase!"

The dragon blinked and shook his head, "I don't know right now. I'll look it up when we're done."

"Done with what?"

Chase smirked and closed his book leaning forward and trapping Jack between his legs.

"Ooooooh." Jack smiled, "Okay."

Red meat-

Lamia cracked open a can of Chase's Lao Mang long and her own Gé lǐ fēn, pouring them in bowls and tossing out the cans before walking into the dining room and handing Chase his bowl.

"Wow, I'm surprised." Chase sipped his soup, "You actually got the soups right."

Lamia smiled, "I labeled the bowls this time. Yours has a dragon on it, mine has a griffin."

"How creative." Chase rolled his eyes.

"Is dragon red meat, or white meat?"

"HOLY SON OF A-"

Both immortals glared at the albino now standing by the table.

"Ah! I'm sorry! Don't hurt me!"

Cuff-

"Happy anniversary, you two!" Lamia smiled and messed up Jack's hair, "Such a wonderful thing to be in love, isn't it?" She sighed dreamily, "I wish I could love. But, oh well! Not until Hannibal dies! Oh, by the way, I got you two an anniversary gift!"

"Lamia, you didn't have to do that." Jack smiled.

"We're fine without a bag of shrunken heads." Chase's smirked died when jack slugged him in the arm.

"It's not shrunken heads, I'm saving that for Jack's birthday party." The girl reached in her Black Hole Bag and pulled out a decorated box, handing it to Jack, and took out a small key and gave it to Chase, "Happy anniversary!" She beamed and kissed both their foreheads before running off in girlish delight.

Chase rose a brow and looked at Jack, who had decided ripping the paper was better than saving it and shredded the decorations on the small box. He opened it and smiled, "I love Lamia."

"I thought you loved me…" Chase pouted jokingly.

Jack smirked, "Look what she gave us." He reached in a pulled out…

A pair of bright pink fluffy handcuffs.

Chase looked at the key in his hand and smiled, "Come, Jack, we're making use of our gifts."

Disclaimer-

Chase pushed the DVD tray shut and went to sit by his lover, letting the smaller curl up in his lap. During the ads, a few cats brought in popcorn and candy for the pair and laid on the ground to watch the movie with them.

Jack giggled as Chase accidently got some chocolate on his cheek and licked it off the immortal happily.

They looked back at the TV and saw the disclaimer, smiling. The movie would start soon now.

"FBI! What the heck!"

Jack and Chase looked at the chair where the once-quite Lamia had been sleeping.

"Go back to sleep, Lamia." They said in unison.

She glared, "Hey, if they find us, I'm running, Master or not, I have my own hide to save."

Trio-

"You know what we should do?" Jack asked over lunch.

"No." Chase stated.

"We should make ourselves an Evil Villain Team name. Like on those cartoons. You know, Teen Titans had the Hive Five and Naruto had the Akatsuki."

"And what do you presume we name ourselves?" Lamia asked, who had encountered a very unpleasant day, so was in no mood for being her energetic self.

Jack thought for a second, "The Amazing Heylin Trio of Evil!"

Lamia grabbed her soup and walked out of the room. Chase's palm connected to his face.

Cockfight-

Chase Young was a brand new cop intern, ready for anything and excited about it all. His father had been cop and he wanted to keep the chain going. So he joined as soon as he was old enough.

Lucky for him, he got the best at the station to train him, Lamia Spicer. She was adopted, and never knew her real name, so family talk was absolutely forbidden.

Today they were speeding down the highways to a call they ahd been placed on. They didn't know who they were going after, but they knew the address and why…

Cockfighting.

Lamia growled something under her breath about locking one of the fighters in a cage with one of the chickens when she jerked the steering wheel to the right rather harshly and slammed on the brake, grabbing her gun and telling Chase to stay behind her.

She beat on the door with the butt of her gun and when it didn't open, she slammed her foot into it.

Screams echoed and Lamia yelled out something incomprehensible.

Chase followed her, his own weapon firmly in his hands. He tried to make sense of Lamia's words as they walked to the back.

"I swear if you've done anything to Jack…"

Who was Jack?

They reached the backyard, where about twenty roosters and chickens were cooped up. Lamia slammed her gun into the man's back, telling Chase to gather the cages into one corner as she searched the house.

He did as he was told, lifting two cages at a time and setting them where she had told him to, trying not to startle the poor creatures.

It wasn't until he was done that he saw the fighting ring. Blood stained the polished wood of a table; high plastic walls circled a red line, scratch marks all in the wood.

"Lamia!" He called in, shocked at what lay at the table.

She ran out to the boy and looked where he pointed.

A small boy, not two years younger than Chase, blood covering his entire body, just barely clothed, skin of ivory and hair of a sunset. Lamia dropped her gun and ran over, smashing the plastic of the table and lifting the boy.

"Chase, go get some water!"

Chase ran inside and did as he was told, bringing a cup out to her that she poured in his mouth slowly. She emptied only a little in his mouth and splashed the rest on him.

The boy slowly woke, the water spilling from his mouth now dyed red from the blood.

Lamia wrapped her arms around him, blood staining her uniform.

"Jack…" She whispered, "Are you okay?"

The boy said something in a language Chase didn't understand, to which Lamia responded in the same language.

"What happened?" Chase asked.

"They… they would shove him in when the fighting wasn't good." Lamia explained, "They would bet on how long it took him to pass out from blood loss…"

Chase looked at the chicken, seeing the knives attached to their feet and the scars and cuts all over the small boy…

This small, fragile little boy…

**Concourse- I don't know what this means! And is confusing.**

**Red meat- Now I'm curious… **

**Cuff- Gotta love Lamia! She has some of the best ideas. Or, at least Jack and Chase think so… sometimes.**

**Disclaimer- Lamia had a fear of the FBI catching her after all; the evil she's done… and enclosed spaces… and Chihuahuas.**

**Trio- THE AMAZING HEYLIN TRIO OF EVIL! XD Poor Lamia. What happened was she woke up with extremely bad hair, had to go into a Showdown against Wuya, Hannibal, and the monks all at once on only an hour of sleep and a lot of running, and ended up falling asleep on the battlefield. Chase, on the other hand, just has a stick up his butt.**

**Cockfight- Wow… this one's depressing… definitely gonna have a sequel to this and cheer it up a bit.**

**Yay! Two posts in one day! I've been absent for a little and had two of them anyways, so I posted both.**

**Remembers, the more reviews you send, the longer we let Hannibal roast over the fire! The more flames, the more times Chase and Jack break up.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello, my fellow Ozians! Oh, wait… wrong place. XDd**

**I want to give ultra-mega 'thank you's to everyone who reviews my stories! ****Unknown20trope****r, ****Jay Ray-Love, ****ImpactManiac, Dadles, RobinNicole, CrystallicSky, Beeman Fangirl for Life, and everyone else!**

Penalty-

"As you know, the penalty for murder is death." The judge glared.

"What kind of federal system is this?" lamia groaned, "Well, a little persuasion can't hurt…" She tapped Chase's lawyer on the shoulder, "Hi, there. My name's Lamia Spicer, I need to be a witness in this."

"I'm sorry, I can't…"

She pulled her sunglasses down and showed her cat-like eyes.

His body stiffened and he nodded, "Okay…"

Lamia smiled and sat back in her seat. A recess was called due to a little magical influence and she magically changed to business clothes, a clack jacket, white shirt, and black pants. The Black Hole Bag was turned into a over-the-shoulder bag that she could easily war and not be suspected of a thing, and she changed her sunglasses to look like normal ones, just with transition lenses that had shaded over. She still had her hair up and her bangs clipped over the point of her ears, but she had to stay consistent.

She spun around to show Jack, who smiled.

"Good. I'm testifying for your dragon-boy back there, so I need to look nice. That way they're distracted by my voice and don't notice my mind-control spell."

"You're amazing."

"I know I am."

Lamia was called up to testify for Chase and made sure she smiled at Chase when she did.

"How do you know Chase Young?" The man asked.

"I met him in grade school," She lied, "I tutored him in subjects he had trouble with."

"And did you ever think Chase could kill someone?"

"Chase was always closed from the world. His emotion range from neutral to a slight smile and that's about it. I could see him saving a life, and taking one all in the same expression. Youc an't read Chase, he's just… him."

The man began ranting on about how killers are usually blank and emotionless and Lamia took that opportunity to claw a pentagon in the underside of the table she sat at and mumble a few incantations. She decided to end it with a quick,

"Chase Young did everything right, let us go home and have dinner tonight."

Rhymes were always fun.

After thirty minutes, the jury reached a verdict of not guilty, to which Lamia only smirked at.

She looked at Chase, "So, what do you want for dinner?"

Decent-

Chase knocked on the door of Jack's room. They had just gotten back from a business party o f his mothers and Jack had to introduce everyone to 'that wonderful little boyfriend of Jackie's!'.

"Hello?"

"Jack, are you decent?"

"No."

Chase smiled, "Perfect."

Agent-

"I want a pet platypus."

Lamia and Chase stared at Jack like he was mad.

"Lamia, you're wearing off on him." Chase sighed.

"Why?" Lamia demanded.

"Because… I wanna name him Perry."

Lamia rolled her eyes, "Oh, dear gods."

Jack jumped to his feet and yelled, "Agent P! He's a semi-aquatic egg-layin' mammal of… hey, where are you guys going?"

Dysfunctional-

Jack looked at Lamia, who was holding Omi on her hip and walking around, telling him stories.

"Jiejie, you have the most amazing tales! Dàgē, do you have any stories!" the small monk exclaimed.

Jack nodded, "Yeah, once there was a small monk, whose name was Omi. He was adopted as a little brother by three other monks and two of the bad guys. A few years later, he gained an adopted step-brother when his Dàgē got married. He has a pet dragon, a weird not-his-dad who only speaks in metaphor, and a crazy adopted cousin who's obsessed with cats."

Chase smirked, "We are one dysfunctional family."

Self-employment-

"What's so amazing about owning your own business?" Chase asked.

"Well, first off," Jack smiled, "I get to hire myself and most of my profit comes back to me."

"Makes sense…"

"Second, I get to hire whoever I want. Like you, who's drop-dead sexy, works well in his job, _and_ works well in his bed."

Chase wrapped an arm around Jack's waist, "How about we test that last part once again?"

Jack smirked, "I'm up for that!"

Heart-

Jack Spicer had stolen many things. Candy, toys, parts for his machines, money, Shen Gong Wu…

But none of them matched to the greatness of the most recent thing he had stolen.

Chase Young's heart.

**Penalty- sequel to Accused from Ch. 3**

**Decent- Chase decides to treat Jack after a big party**

**Agent- PERRY THE PLATYPUS!**

**Dysfunctional- An explanation of the Omi-adoption cycle!**

**Self-Employment- Continuation of Aid from Ch, 4**

**Heart- Fluffy!**

**Reviews= happy Reza and more Chack! Flames=depressed Reza and no more chapters.**


	7. Chapter 7

**I loved this one. Why? Because of the words it gave me! I mean, these were the bestest words ever! I'm a happy Reza!**

Halloween-

"Jack, you're not dressed up!" Lamia yelled. She was dressed in a dark purple dress that reached her knees, black legging underneath, and pointy black boots. She wore blue makeup around her eyes with matching blue lipstick, and had her hair down and curled by magic. To complete the Shock outfit, she had a tall demonic purple upon her head.

"Come on, Jack, we bought you a really interesting costume!" Chase smiled, which scared Jack. The Everlord wore a pair of fake skeleton hands and a black shirt. A fake bat hung at the top of his shirt. With the face paint and his hair magically hidden, he looked like the perfect Jack Skellington.

"Why do you two celebrate Halloween?"

Lamia rolled her eyes, "We're evil people who love what they do and can transform into monsters." Her eyes lit up, "Oh my gosh, Chase! I just thought of something! We could use one of you warriors to hand out the candy to scare the kids. Like, we'll take a jaguar, something with a black coat, and hide it in the shadows. The candy will be in front of it, and when kids reach in to take some, the cat can roar at them like there's no tomorrow! Can you imagine how many people will scream!"

"I love the way you think!"

Jack watched in horror as his mate and Guardian ran off to get a cat that would do the job.

The boy looked at the costume Jack and Lamia had chosen for him, chuckling. He quickly changed into it and summoned Lamia to do the makeup for him. She got lazy after seeing the kit and snapping her fingers, magicing the makeup on him.

Jack called Chase and smiled, showing him his now precise costume.

Chase smiled and held out his hand, "The perfect Sally to my Jack."

Pyromaniac-

Chase and Jack stared at the remains of the garden and sighed.

"Oopsies." Laia said, looking at what her training had done, "I'll fix it!" She sent a blast of fire around the room, the flames white instead of the usual red. When the flames died away the garden was the way it had been before Lamia had been in there.

Chase couldn't help but walk away, head shaking, as his lover jumped and asked Lamia to do more fire tricks.

"Crazy Pyromaniacs."

Bumper Sticker-

Chase smiled, "If you can read this, flip me back over."

Jack rolled his eyes, "If you can read this, get off my tail."

Lamia smirked, "If you can read this, I'm not impressed. Most people can read."

"Even though this is a stupid sticker, you're squinting to read it." Jack came back quickly.

Chase smoothly replied with, "Three-three-three, half evil."

Lamia chuckled, "I used up all my sick days. So I called in dead."

Jack's eyes went wide, "Oh, oh! Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons. You are yummy and taste good with ketchup!"

Lamia laughed.

"Where did you find that bumper sticker?" Chase asked.

Jack smiled, "Trailer park."

"Driver carries no cash." Lamia smiled, "He's married."

"Call a plumber. We'll repair what your husband fixed." Chase smiled.

Jack giggled, "You remind me that I need to clean my guns."

"I brake for Tribbles."

"WWJB, who would Jesus bomb?"

"Kirk, McCoy, Spock, and Ensign Ricky are beaming down to a planet. Guess who's not coming back up?"

"Keep honking. I'm reloading."

"If you must burn our flag, please wrap yourself in it first."

"FBI, fun biscuits incorporated."

"Don't steal. The government hates competition."

"Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math."

"Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot."

"Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now."

"Consciousness: that annoying time between naps."

"I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it."

"Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs."

"We have enough youth, how about a fountain of _smart_?"

Bloody-

"Chase… how much do you love me?" Jack asked.

"I would die for you, my love." Chase answered without falter, "Why?"

Jack paused, "I need your help."

"What?"

"Next week is the anniversary of when Lamia became a Heylin… and when she… killed all her fellow monks… including her brother."

"You need a place to stay for then?"

"No… I want to be there to help her… but… if she decides to vent her anger and hatred on my, don't hurt her, okay?"

Chase paused.

"Please, Chase. I've had your training, and with just a few words she'd stop anything to help me. She needs me. Last time I asked her about it and she described it for me… anguish, pain, hatred, and… she actually dreams then. Like, not her weird eating talking tacos dreams, bloody painful dreams. Dreams about Maru Do screaming for her mercy…"

"I understand. I will grant you this… so long as she can look past her own hell to care for you."

"I will, Chase." Lamia said, appearing behind the dragon from no where.

"Good."

"Forgive me, Jack." The girl said and kissed Chase's cheek, "Despite how hateful you make yourself off to be, you are very kind."

Shotgun-

Lamia and Chase walked into the hospital room, both happy to see the small boy they saved alive.

"Lamia!" Jack yelled, his blood red eyes brightening at the sight of her, "You came!"

"Of course I did, you silly boy." She hugged him, "I'm so glad you're okay."

Jack smiled and noticed Chase, "Hi. What's your name?"

"Chase." The older smiled, "I was there when we… found you."

Jack looked down, "Oh… you saw that?"

Chase didn't answer, just stepped closer to stand by the bed. Jack looked up at him and blushed, "W-wow!"

Lamia giggled.

"What did I miss?" Chase asked.

Jack smiled, "You're hot."

"Jack, don't hit on Chase."

"How can I not, Lamia! I mean, look at this guy! You've got really pretty hair…"

Chase smiled, "I usually have it in a ponytail because I don't want it cut while I'm working."

"Did you ever cut it?"

"Once. I had to."

"Why?" The curious albino queried.

"Shotgun blast. It barely missed me, but I had to have my hair shorter than yours to keep it healthy."

Jack stared at Chase in awe.

"Lamia…"

"Yes?" She asked.

"When am I being discharged?"

Lamia paused, "I'll go ask."

The girl left the room and Jack looked at Chase before sitting up quickly and kissing him quickly.

"What was that for?" Chase smiled.

"Because I can."

Lamai came back in a few seconds later, "The doctor said by next week at the latest. So long as you don't fight the scans."

Jack thought, "Hey, Chase, wanna go out next Friday?"

Chase smiled, "Sure."

"Great. I'll get Lamia to drop me of at the station and we can go from there."

"Movie and dinner?"

"I like how you think."

Loving-

"Why do you love me?" Jack asked.

Chase blinked, "What brought up this question?"

"I can't sleep."

The Everlord spun onto his side and looked at his albino.

"I feel protectiveness for you I never felt for anyone else."

"Yeah, that's our reason for keeping me. Why do you keep _loving_ me?"

Chase smiled, "Simple." He kissed the boy passionately, "Because you're absolutely perfect."

**Halloween- NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS! And Chase is a bit OOC here…**

**Pyromaniac- Lamia was the Dragon of Fire when she was a monk… she just can't seem to drop her fiery love. And Jack likes it, too!**

**Bumper Sticker- Don't ask… even I don't know**

**Bloody- Right after this, Jack jumped her and yelled some highly inappropriate things, declaring if she kissed Chase again, he would gut her like a fish.**

**Shotgun- Sequel to Cockfight from Ch. 5**

**Loving- Chase is fluffy!**

**Reviews give Jack ideas for more silly robots. Flames melt his robots into nothing.**


	8. Chapter 8

**I have a question for you: What would you do if a squirrel busted through your window and demanded money in a Terminator voice?**

**Just wondering.**

Term- 

"Lamia, please don't let me go to public school anymore!"

Lamia rolled her eyes, "What am I supposed to do? According to the school I'm your _sister_ not your mother."

"If I continue going top public school they will kill me!"

"What about Chase? He's going there, too."

"Yes, but he can't be there all the time! Do you want me to go to your school too? Who will get the Wu then, Wuya?"

Chase sighed, "Jack."

The albino looked at Chase with his good eye. He currently had an ice pack pressed against the other from the nice punch in the face he'd gotten.

"How many times this term have you come home hurt?" The Everlord asked.

Jack paused and counted, "Fifty-four… I think…"

A chill ran down Lamia spine. She looked at Chase, "You have an idea."

"You can bet your Black Hole Bag I do." Chase smirked, "How are you on manipulation of your physical form?"

Lamia paused and turned into Jack, "Pretty good, I'd say."

Jack looked at his Guardian and smirked, "I'm pretty freakin' sexy."

"Jack, focus." Lamia laughed, changing back into herself.

Chase smiled and teleported away for a few seconds, then was back with a photo. He handed it to Lamia, "Can you be her?"

Lamia smiled, "Chase Young, I love the way you think!"

Chase smirked, "Jack, both of us will be going to a private school soon."

"How!"

Lamia showed Jack the family photo, "We're going to be your parents."

Dill-

"Why's is called a dill pickle?"

"I don't know, Jack." Chase rolled his eyes, "Why must you ask such random questions?"

"Because I'm a bored teenager." Jack answered, sitting in his Everlord's lap, "Why are lobsters red?"

"Because they have sunburn." Chase rolled his eyes, "Go bother Lamia with your questions."

"Oh, good idea, _she_ might know why it's called a dill pickle!"

Chick-fil-a-

Jack smiled, "So… Chase… how was your day?"

"I hate you with a burning intensity."

"Aw, c'mon." Jack laughed, "Working can't be that bad. Lamia loves her job."

"That's because she got work at a women's clothing store." Chase pointed out.

Lamia smirked, "Where did you get a job, Chase? Oh, that's right. I saw you during my lunch break."

Chase glared.

"At Chik-fil-a filling my order!" Lamia laughed, "This is freakin' priceless! The mighty Chase Young serves chicken tenders!"

Jack bit his lip, "It's okay, Chase. I work at Wal-mart as a bag boy because I'm not old enough to work yet. When I can, though, I'll come work with you, okay?"

Chase smiled, "That's very kind, Jack."

Lamia caught her breath and sighed, "I'm sorry, Chase. I think your job is very cool. It could be worse."

"How so?"

She smirked, "You could be working with me."

Jack thought, "How would that be worse?"

Lamia shook her head, "Now, a place like this would be ideal for Jack, who finds women a complete turn off and is gay to the hundredth power." She looked at Chase, "You, on the other hand, are bisexual, have immense pride, and wouldn't know female fashion if it came up and bit you on the a-"

"Not at the table." Jack interrupted.

"Fine. You wouldn't know female fashion if it came up and bit you on the _butt_. Is that better?"

Jack nodded and sipped his tea.

"Just think, working with all these lovely young ladies, helping them pick out clothes they like… it's exactly what Satan has planned for you when you go visit!"

Chase shivered, "I suddenly love my job…"

Lamia smiled, "I, on the other hand, couldn't be happier. I got to boss around Chase outside of the citadel for once."

Immortality-

"So, who are we going to see?" Jack asked.

Lamia smiled, "Chase Young."

Jack's jaw dropped, "_The_ Chase Young!"

"Oh, so you've heard of him?"

"Heard of him! He combined water and firebending to give him immortality! And he's not even loosely related to an avatar!"

"Exactly." She led Jack to the small village, "Hello, everyone! It's me, Lamia! I came to see Chase again!"

"A-again!" Jack gaped.

She winked, "You're not the only person I've taught, Jack."

Jack stared in shock as a tan, muscular, gorgeous man stepped out from a tent and smiled at Lamia. He wore blue pants and shirt, the usual Waterbender armor, and a blade sheathed on his back.

"You again?" He joked, "I thought you'd returned to the Fire Nation."

"That's sort of why I'm here, Chase…"

She showed him Jack.

"Where did you pick this one up?" Chase asked, looking Jack over.

"I… saved him."

Chase groaned, "You poor, poor boy." He put a hand on Jack's shoulder, "If I were you, I'd run. Run like hell is freezing over."

"Chase!' Lamia socked him in the arm.

Jack looked at the two, "Well, I'm officially scared. I'm gonna take about five steps backwards now."

Chase smiled, "What's your name?"

"Jack, Jack Spicer."

"Well, Spicer, are you ready to learn?"

Domination-

"Finally!" Jack yelled, "World Domination is mine, and all I have to do is push a button!"

Chase blinked and teleported right over his lover's back, "Well? Push the button!"

Jack smiled, "Wow, Chase, I didn't know you wanted this!"

Chase glared, "Did you hit your head recently!"

Jack shrugged and clicked the button…

"Oh my gods…" Chase face palmed for about the fiftieth time that day, "You were talking about an RPG!"

"Of course. How would I dominate the real world without you, babe!"

"As kind as that sounds, I'm disappointed now."

Jack smiled and kissed the taller man happily.

"Disappointment gone."

Clef-

"Chase, this school rocks."

Chase smiled and kissed his consort, "Yes, and they allow public displays of affection, as well. So I am very pleased."

They shared another kiss and got a few 'So cute!'s from some girls that were nearby.

Jack felt a shiver go down his spine.

"Hey, Chase? You ever get the feeling you're being watched?"

"Yeah…"

"Well, that's sort of how I feel… only it's murderous…"

"Hello… Jack. Chase."

The pair slowly turned around to a greatly annoyed Lamia.

"Wh-what are you doing here?" Jack asked, then noticed her in the girls school uniform, "Oh my gods, you're enrolled."

"Yes. Apparently it would be good for Jack _and_ his sister to join. So guess what! Our warriors get to get the Wu!" She smiled sarcastically and glared, "I hate you both."

"What's the box?" Chase asked, pointing at the black case in her hand.

"They figured out I can read music, so I'm a clarinetist in the band now. Yay, I'm a treble clef!" She glared again and stormed off, flicking off a few guys as they whistled at her.

"Chase?"

"Yes, Jack?"

"We have all our classes together, right?"

"Yeah…"

"If we have her in any of them… will you save me from the scary lady?"

"I'll be busy saving my own hide…"

**Term- Continuation of School from Ch. 1. Lamia and Chase are gonna impersonate Jack's parents, if you didn't catch that.**

**Dill- It's Random Jack Questions time!**

**Chick-fil-a- Continuation of McDonalds from Ch. 4 Chase works at Chik-fil-a, Lamia Maurices, and Jack at Wal-mart.**

**Immortality- continuation of Dignity, Paper Towel, and Determination. I swear I'll get to the chack-y bits eventually!**

**Domination- XD Jack now rules the RPG world!**

**Clef- continuation of School and Term from up above. Lamia is not a happy monkey. I bet you anything she's going up to the principal to rant about sexism and demand a guys uniform so she doesn't have to wear a skirt.**


	9. Chapter 9

**How do you like these so far? Is there any you've read that you really want a continuation of? I love doing these, so hit me with any suggestions!**

…**. I'm gonna go throw some zombies in a volcano now!**

Confinement-

Jack watched Lamia and Chase discuss his new training and noticed something strange…

They were extremely friendly. Friendly enough to where they openly laughed with each other and allowed physical touch.

"Lamia…" Jack started over dinner, "how do you know Chase?"

She smiled and took a bite of her boiled shrimp, "I trained him and showed him how to gain immortality."

"Why are you so friendly?"

"Because we're friends." She sipped the broth of the shrimp soup happily, savoring the delectable taste.

"Do you love him?"

Lamia spat everything in her mouth out in surprise, drenching jack.

"What!" She yelled, "How dare you accuse me of loving someone as narrow-minded and jump-the-gun as Chase Young! I admit, he's attractive… okay, screw that, he's hot as hell, but he is not my type. I prefer a man who will think things through before acting and doesn't always depend on force."

"Well, I feel loved."

They looked at the opening of the tent. Chase smiled.

"You are a friend and ally, no more, no less." Lamia said and used her Waterbending to get the sup off Jack and back in her bowl. She smiled and gulped it down without hesitation.

"That's gross." Both men said at once.

"Hey, I'm hungry!" she smirked, "You of all people should know that when I'm hungry, I eat!"

Chase groaned, "Do I ever. I still have nightmares about that squirrel and frog sandwich."

"I'm confused." Jack stated.

Chase sighed, "Lamia and I met in the Fire Nation, where we are both from. We were on trail for something stupid we did, I don't remember."

"We burnt down a village." Lamia waved her hand, "Nothing too great."

"Well, we were stuck in this confined wood-like area and Lamia, having a fear of being trapped like no tomorrow, went crazy and decided she would tear down everything and kill whatever got in her way."

She giggled and looked at Chase, "I almost got you, too."

Chase sighed, "Scary. That's the only thing that describes it."

Jack stared at Chase in awe. If burning down a village was small… what was colossal?

'_My gods, I'm falling for this man, and I don't give a damn… hey, that rhymed.'_

Muff-

"A six letter word that starts with Muff…" Jack mumbled, "Muffle? No, that's not it."

"What are you doing, Jack?" Chase asked.

"One of those word thingies." Jacks aid, "You know, where you fill in the boxes with the letters of a word?"

"And what are you looking for?"

"I'm on 'Candy and Sweets'… I need a six letter word that starts with Muff."

Lamia groaned, "Will you two shut up? I'm trying to sleep."

"Lamia, it's 1300…" Jack said.

She groaned, "Why are you waking me up so early? I only got to sleep a few minutes ago."

Jack rolled his eyes, "What's a six letter word that starts with muff?"

She looked over the paper and smiled, "They're just ugly cupcakes."

Chase's ears perked. He had been tuning out the conversation since Lamia woke up- for reasons he'd rather not explain while she was nearby- but the sound of cupcakes woke him.

"Cupcakes?" He asked.

Jack paused, "Oh! Muffins!"

Chase frowned, "No cupcakes?"

Jack giggled, "I'll make some cupcakes for you, okay?"

Chase kissed his albino, "Yes."

Kill-

Lamia and Chase stood in shock at the sight before them.

Jack was covered in blood, his hair falling over his eyes, his goggles broken and around his neck. He clenched two knives in his hands, breathing heavily over the bloodied form of… Wuya.

"Jack?" Lamia asked.

"I warned you." Jack smiled, "No one tries to steal _my_ Chase."

Rock salt-

"Jack, why do you need all this rock salt?" Chase asked, dropping twelve bags on the floor in his "Lair".

"Because," Jack smiled, "they how a bunch of electricity, though no one really know or cares. All you have to do is find a good conduit."

Jack blinked and looked around the room, "Aw, Chase, just because I'm really smart doesn't mean you have to run in fear whenever I say something intelligent." He smirked and continued his work.

Foreclosure-

Jack and Lamia Spicer were part of the goth group at their High School. They hosted parties, gave out what people needed to complete their look, gave advice, and anything else that was possible.

But today was particularly special.

It was Jack's birthday and they were having a massive party at an old mansion.

Ashely walked up to her cousin, her blonde hair dyed only slightly black, blond highlights still streaking her hair. She had on a striped black and white shirt, cat ears, a kitty skirt, and red kitty shoes.

"Happy birthday, Jack!" Ashley smiled, "This is a purr-fect party!"

"You fail at life, Ashley." Jack shook his head, "Have you see Lamia?"

The cat-girl shook her head and walked off.

Jack sighed and looked for his taller sister. His bright red hair and eyes made no difference amongst the dyed and bleached hair around him, though his was natural. His albino skin made him the perfect goth, as he couldn't stay in the sun for too long. He wore a long black trench covered in metal, his trademark yellow and black goggles around his neck, and a red chained shirt under the coat. He wore long skinny jeans with knee-high black with red lace boots over them.

"Jack, there you are." Lamia growled "We're about to cut your cake and you're wandering around like an idiot!"

"I was looking for you." Jack snapped back.

His sister had her hair up in a high ponytail, tied together with a red ribbon. She wore a black tank top with a red jacket over it; the jacket was cut off just above her stomach to show the black shirt and had no sleeves, but a high collar. Under the tank top she had on fish netting and on her right wrist she wore a red and black striped wrist warmer. She had on long black and red trip pants and completed the look with metal covered boots with a steel toe on the outside.

She grabbed her younger brother's hand and dragged hij to the center of the room they were in.

"How the hell did you get a cake that big?" jack gawked.

"One seven-layer, black and red cake." Lamia sighed, "Completely chocolate in the theme of a graveyard… my arm hurts like hell."

"You made all this for me!" Jack smiled.

"Well, I had a bit of help."

Jack turned to her, "From whom! I must know so I can thank them!"

She pointed right behind Jack, who turned around to see a tall Asian man with long black hair that shone green. _Green._ He wore a black shirt that had a dragon on it eating a person's head, and green and black trips with a few chains. He wore large black combat boots and a red sash around his waist.

And, dear gods, his golden eyes made Jack melt.

"You helped Lamia make this?" Jack asked.

"I helped with everything." The boy answered.

"What's your name?"

"Chase Young."

"Wanna go make-out in the corner?" Jack asked.

Chase smiled, "Yes."

Ashley looked at Lamia, "How did you afford his place?"

Lamia smiled, "It was for Foreclosure. Just a thousand for this place. No bills because we're not using any electricity, only candles. The only sparks going on here are in the corner over there."

Wuya, her long red hair draping over her black top and her midnight-colored skirt fanning out just below where her thigh-high red sock ended, her usual long boots resting just above her knee, leaned over Lamia's shoulder and smiled, "I don't think Jack's gonna get to blow out his candles."

Lamia glared, "Why are you touching me?"

Relieve-

"Gods, Chase, will you relieve me of this already!"

"Not yet, Spicer, I like seeing you like this. It's very attractive… and sexy."

"I hate you… oh, gods!"

"You hate me?"

"No! No, I love you, dear gods, I love you!"

Lamia blushed and ran off, greatly regretting walking by Jack and Chase's room.

**Confinement- Cont. of Dignity, Paper Towel, Determination, and Immortality. This one will go one for a while…**

**Muff- Muffins are just ugly cupcakes.**

**Kill- Wuya came to try and take Chase for her own, but Jack killed her! 8D Yay! Jackie had his first murder!**

**Rock salt- JACK IS SMARTICLE! **

**Foreclosure- Got bored, so I came up with this. Gave me good ideas for outfit designs. *sigh* Even in an AU, Wuya and Lamia don't get along.**

**Relieve- XD CHACK SMEX!**


	10. Chapter 10

**What would you doOOoo, for a Klondike Bar? Would you roast Hannibal Bean over an open fire? *laugh* Hell, I'd do that for free!**

Sash-

"Chase?"

"Jack, it's four in the morning." Chase grumbled, "Shut up and go to sleep."

"But this is bothering me!" Jack whined.

"What do you want?"

Jack smiled, "Why do all the major Heylin's wear sashes?"

"What?"

"You, Lamia, Wuya, you all have some kind of sash you keep around your waist. What's the point in those?"

"Lamia keeps hers because it was the last thing she earned as a monk. Wuya has hers because she likes to copy me."

"And you?"

Chase paused, "You can't laugh."

"Why would I laugh at you?"

"Jack."

"Oh, fine." Jack held up his hands in defense, "I promise I won't laugh at you."

"It was a birthday present when I was a kid…"

Jack blinked and looked at Chase, "A… present?"

Chase nodded.

Jack smiled, "That is so cute! Aw, Chase Young _is_ just a big softy!"

Fanatic-

Jack Spicer was Chase's biggest fanatic. He would do anything to get Chase to look at him. Anything to get a smile or a compliment.

He would die to save him.

Which he almost did.

Jack curled over in pain, the Golden Tiger Claws in his stomach. Wuya smirked, pulled her hand from Jack and pulled the Wu away with it.

"Not what I was looking for, but it'll work." She laughed.

"Dàgē!" Omi screamed, running to Jack's side and staring in utter horror.

"Oh my gods…" Rai gasped.

Wuya laughed again, "And this time, Lamia is gone. She cannot save you." She turned to leave, "Have fun dying, Jack."

"_Stop where you are you horrid witch!_"

Wuya turned and glared at the angry yellow monk. "You dare speak to me like that!"

Omi glared, "You will pay dearly for injuring Jack Spicer, Wuya!"

She laughed, "As if!"

Kimiko gasped as Omi ran at the fifteen-hundred year old witch. He slammed his foot into her stomach and leapt after her again, holding her by the back of her dress and throwing her against a wall.

"What the hell!" Wuya shrieked.

Clay picked up Omi, "Calm down, kid."

Omi glared, "Let me go! She hurt Dàgē! She killed Dàgē!"

Wuya glared and used the Claws to leave. Omi paused, seeing she was gone, and grabvbed onto Clay's bandana, crying into it.

"Dàgē…"

"Omi, come here." Chase called.

Omi looked at the Everlord and let Clay walk over, still holding Omi in his arms.

Chase took Omi and placed him on the ground by Jack, who was chuckling.

"Dàgē?"

Jack sat up and smiled, wincing in pain, "I love you, too, bro."

Chase hugged Jack from behind, nibbling the albino's ear lightly as he used a little magic to seal up Jack's wounds.

"Dàgē!"

Omi flung his arms around his adopted brother's neck. Jack smiled and hugged the boy back.

Memorization-

Chase had his daily routine memorized. He would wake up early, eat a small breakfast, have a bowl of soup, train, find whatever Wu did appear, ignore Jack for a little before booting him off the mountain, meditate, get some more Wu, eat dinner, take a nice long bath, and go to bed.

This was only thrown off slightly when Lamia showed up, since she decided to drop by on Chase whenever she was bored.

And that is how he ended up at a party with Jack in his arms…. Wait, let's go back a little.

"Chase!" Laia smiled, hanging upside down from Chase's roof.

"What do you want, woman?" Chase snapped, waking from his meditative state.

She dropped to the floor gracefully, "I… need a favor."

Chase paused, "What kind of favor?"

"One that if you complete, I'll reward with leaving you alone and keeping Wuya away."

Chase smiled at this bright idea, "What do you need?"

"I'm staying here while Jack goes on a business run for his parents. I'll be collecting Wu and can't protect him. My favor is that you watch him and protect him for me."

"What all does this include?"

Lamia thought for a second, "The most extreme I have ever gotten to was pretending to be his girlfriend. If you do have to do this, a small kiss on the forehead will convince anyone."

Chase thought, "You cannot expect me to accept this."

"I'll lock Wuya in the basement so you can do whatever you want and give the Orb of Agony!" She pleaded, "I've never asked you for anything like this before, Chase!"

Chase smiled, "I'll do it."

"Wow, really?" She smiled, "I thought I would have to do some serious groveling to convince you to even consider kissing Jack."

So now Chase was at a boring party pretending to be Jack's boyfriend. They were dancing a slow song for Jack's mother, who wasn't supposed to be there, but was anyways.

"I'm sorry, Chase." Jack whispered.

"What for?" Chase asked, spinning them around once again at block the smaller boy's mother from his sight.

"For having you do this. You don't want too, but if my parents knew I came alone, I'd be shipped off to Australia, and that would suck…." He paused, "Well, for me at least. You would probably like it without my annoyances."

"Jack, I admit, you're annoying. But I would utterly hate being without you."

"What?"

"Your very presence is part of my daily life. I believe that would be greatly thrown off should you move to another country."

Jack smiled, but couldn't find any words.

So Chase did something he never thought he'd do. He took his hand from Jack waist and put it under Jack's chin, tilting his head upwards so Chase could look into his eyes before kissing him.

Jack's eyes went wide as the dragon began kissing him. Very passionately.

Chase smiled to himself when Jack kissed back. He had something new to memorize.

Spherical-

"Jack what is that?" Chase asked.

Jack held up the small spherical… thing.

"What do you think it is?" Jack smiled.

Chase thought and finally answered, "A sphere. Now what's it for?"

Jack laughed, "It's my own illusion thingy!" He placed it on a small black pedestal that fitted it perfectly and flipped a switch.

Jack smiled and took the immortal's hand, pushing it against the sphere. It emitted a few jolts and then formed a picture of Chase.

"What the-?"

"See, Chase, it takes your fingerprints, runs it through some files I've loaded, and shows you yourself! It's scientific magic!"

"You have too much free time."

Pony-

Jack, Lamia, and Chase all stood on the Mountain of Doom just outside the citadel, staring at the weird thing before them.

"Why is there a pony on my doorstep?" Chase asked.

"Don't look at me, for once, I didn't do it." Jack answered.

Lamia paused, "Can I eat it?"

Both the men looked at her.

"Why would you want to eat it?" Jack asked.

She blinked, "It's a Pegasus…"

Jack, having absolutely no outside world experience, asked, "What's a Pegasus?"

Lamia smirked, "Delicious and nutritious, tastes just like chicken!"

Ballet-

"There is no way in the seven hells I am doing that." Jacks snapped.

"Jack, don't be so lazy. You wanted to get better. So you have to do this with us. For once Chase and I are training together." Lamia grabbed the albino by the collar of his t-shirt and dropped him into the middle of the room.

"You look like you're doing freakin' ballet!" Jack retorted.

"Well then, guess what, dearest Jack?" Chase smirked, "You're going to learn ballet. Now stand so we can meditate."

Jack grumbled, "Stupid ballerinas…"

**Sash- Well, he didn't laugh, did he?**

**Fanatic- Jack gets hurt by Wuya, and Chase tends to him while Omi **_**kicks Wuya's disgusting little butt!**_

**Memorization- Jack, if you can't tell what I mean there. He has to memorize Jack.**

**Spherical- Wouldn't that be awesome!**

**Pony- I'm such a dork…**

**Ballet- cont. of Horizon**


	11. Chapter 11

**I followed you home last night, I watched you sleep. I ate your food. I watched your television.**

**I'm you imaginary friend you lost four years ago…**

_**And now I'm back for revenge!**_

RIP-

Chase fell to his knees. He couldn't believe it. This wasn't happening!

This couldn't be happening…

But it was.

Chase hung his head and balled hi fists, slamming them into the ground. Tears fell from his eyes. He stared at the marble slab in front of him.

RIP  
Jack Spicer  
Raimundo Pedrosa  
Kimiko Tohomiko  
Clay Bailey  
Omi  
Lamia  
May Their Brilliant Acts of Courage and Trust Never Be Forgotten

Alone again.

He was all alone once again. No consort to love, no annoying past teacher to bug him countless times, no monks to annoy…

All gone.

Cornucopia-

"Chase…"

"Yes, Jack?"

"Why is there a cornucopia on your head?"

Chase sighed, "You know how Lamia went to the United States for a year to study abroad?"

"Yeah. Mom and dad wanted to see if you were good enough to care for me and you passed!" Jack smiled.

"Well… she went to a really good school and took Science, Math, Literature… and art."

Lamia came dancing unto the room with a large canvas.

"Hi, Jack! Wanna watch me paint Chase with a cornucopia on his head!" She smield.

"I'll think I'll just take a picture and go make dinner." Jack pulled out his phone and used it to record the image.

"I hate you." Chase growled.

Jack kissed the warlord's cheek, "I love you, too, baby."

Torch-

Jack Spicer could learn anything. And Firebending wasn't any different. After two months after meeting Chase he had simultaneously learned to harness his powers and developed a major crush on the older man.

What he didn't know was that Chase was developing similar emotions.

Lamia walked up to the pair while they were practicing, "Hey, guys, I won't make it to dinner. I've got something I need to do, 'kay?"

Chase nodded and continued his practicing.

Chase lit the small torch at the center of the dinner table and sat down next to jack, handing him a bowl of steaming soup. Jack blew on it softly and put it in his mouth.

"Mmm! This is good! Did you make it?"

"Yes."

Jack smiled, "You're a very good chef!"

"Thank you."

Jack smiled and devoured the meal happily.

"Did you even taste it?" Chase asked when Jack asked if there was more.

"Why else would I be asking for more?"

Chase smiled, "Spicer, I have a question for you."

Jack paused, "What's that?"

"Well… what's your sexuality?"

"Me? I'm gayer than a fruitcake in rainbow land."

Chase chuckled.

"Why?"

Chase stood and smiled, "Because I believe I'm falling for you."

Jack dropped his plate. "Really? This isn't some prank?"

"No. I would never do something like that."

Jack paused, as if waiting for his brain to register this.

"So… you're gay?"

Chase chuckled, "Yes, Jack."

"Sweet." Jack smiled and pushed his lips on Chase's.

Chase smiled, "What was that for?"

"Just 'cause I felt like it."

Countess-

Countless times Jack Spicer had broken into Chase's citadel. Countless times he had lost a Showdown, but still managed to clean himself up for the next one with absolutely no bruises. Countless times he was beaten and belittled by the Xiaolin and Heylin sides, but would always return.

But when he had accepted the boy as his apprentice he learned something creepy.

Countless times he was remaking a special salve that covered the bruises perfectly and wouldn't wash away. Countless times he came home and locked himself away and cried. Countless times he ignored Chase in favor of the emotionless machines. Countless times he skipped on meals and stayed in the basement building his machines and self-esteem for the next day.

But the worst of all was whenever Jack couldn't cover his wounds and would break into tears in front of Chase.

His usually beautiful albino skin was dyed dark blues and purples, sometimes black. His tears were stained black because of his eyeliner and he would hug his knees, hoping to hide the pain from his idol and teacher.

Countless times Chase tried to help Jack get better so this wouldn't happen. Countless times Jack came home with bruises. Countless times Chase wanted to grab Jack and demand who hurt him. Countless times he wanted to kill the monks for hurting Jack.

"Chase…" Jack mumbled after a crying session. This was strange, because usually Jack would run off and hide in shame.

"Yes?"

The small boy buried his face in the immortals sleeve, "Thank you… for comforting me… no one's ever done that before."

Chase slowly wrapped his arms around Jack and held him closely, "Jack… I care for you… as strange as it sounds, I do… I don't enjoy seeing you hurt."

"Can you do me a favor?"

"Anything."

"Could you beat up Wuya?"

Chase smiled, "Would you like it on video?"

Twit-

"Annoying little twit!" Wuya snapped at Jack.

Jack paused, "Who the hell says twit anymore? Wow, lady, you're _really_ old."

Wuya grabbed at Jack, but he dodged and twisted her hand behind her back. She glared.

"Let go of me!"

"Make me."

She spun around and was about to punch Jack hen he kicked the back of her arm. She gasped and faltered in pain.

"Six pounds of pressure breaks the elbow." Jack smiled and put his foot on her heel, "Fifteen to break an ankle." Another sickening crack rang out.

"You faggot!" Wuya shrieked.

Jack smiled, "Yes. Yes, I am." He kicked her onto her Back and put a foot on her collar, "Eight pounds."

Chase smiled as the pain knocked Wuya unconscious.

"She'll heal quickly." Chase reminded the boy.

"I know… but I feel a lot better now." Jack smiled.

Chase took Jack's hand in his and kissed the boy's forehead, "Let's go home."

Gold medal-

"Hey, Jack?"

"Oh, gods, Chase, the one night I get to sleep you decide to wake me up." The albino groaned and sat up, "What?"

"What's the gold medal for?"

"What?"

Chase pointed to the dresser, where a small gold medal hung from the mirror.

"oh, that stupid thing. I won it in a robotics contest."

"How?"

"I built a Chasebot in front of everyone." Jack smiled, "I think one judge was turned on by it."

"What'd you do with it?"

"Disabled it. It's in my scraps pile."

Chase blinked, "But, it won you a prize."

"A fake gold medal and two hundred bucks. Woop-dee-doo. My parents made me enter it, anyways." Jack smiled and kissed Chase, "Besides, I like the original much better."

**RIP- I'm sorry… I was in a depressed mood when I wrote this…**

**Cornucopia- Yay for artistic inspiration!**

**Torch- more of the Avatar bits I'm doing!**

**Countess- Aww, poor Jack. He's all beaten up and sad, and Chase makes him feel all better! I hope Wuya knows when to run.**

**Twit-Sort of a sequel to Countless from right before it. Jack gets his revenge.**

**Gold medal- The tables are turned! This time Chase wakes up Jack for a random question!**

**Do you think I have mental issues? My friends keep telling me to go to the guidance counselor at our school… I mean, just because I have voices and can't ever make them shut up, and dream about eating people's heads, and laugh at other people in pain, and—**

**Chase: *slams his hand on my mouth* Shut. Up.**

**Jack: If you review, we'll bring her a laptop to the insane asylum for her. If you flame, we'll get her on a sugar high and send her through the streets of your neighborhood with a box of matches and some lighters.**

**Lamia: I'M HERE FOR MORAL SUPPORT! :D**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chase: We're sorry that Reza can't say hello to you for this chapter.**

**Jack: She probably won't be able to for a few chapters. So we will.**

**Lamia: Yeah, she has the laptop, but she has to push the keys with a pencil. The jacket won't let her use her hands.**

**Jack: I swear, when she gets out, I'm stealing her straightjacket and using it for a new outfit. This one is black. She once had a **_**glow in the dark**_** one.**

**Chase: How does this chick pull of such weirdness? Whatever, please enjoy her random tales about us.**

Advisor-

Chase glared, "Wuya, get the hell out of here_ now_. Your presence is unwelcome."

"Is that anyway to talk to Jack's personal advisor?"

Chase smirked as a pale hand touched Wuya's shoulder. The red-haired woman spun and met a fist rather quickly. She fell backwards onto the floor and held his now broken nose.

Lamia readjusted her gloves, "I'm Jack's advisor. But I'll give you some advice, too." She stepped closer to loom over the woman ominously, "Go. Away."

She glared and ran off.

Lamia smiled at Chase, "Nice job keeping your cool. I can't do that."

"I've noticed." Chase smiled, "But it's what makes you… you."

Jack walked in, looking over his shoulder.

"Hey, Wuya just ran past me… I think her nose is broken. She's bleeding a whole lot… what did you do?"

Chase pointed at Lamia. Lamia smiled in pride.

Jack sighed, "You two make my head hurt… but I love you."

Unafraid-

Chase sighed, still in dragon form from training, and curled up to rest a little before going to make sure Wuya wasn't screwing around his home.

He didn't realize he had fallen asleep, though.

And he had the craziest dream. A dream where someone-he couldn't tell who it was- loved him for who he was and not because he was good in bed and easy on the eyes. One that wasn't afraid to see his dragon form and didn't care if he was all-powerful or just another guy they met.

His dream was abruptly stopped when he felt a small warmth in his arms. He opened his eyes, ready to span off someone's head when he saw Jack, smiling and curling up next to him. He smiled and held the small youth closer, making him jump.

"What are you doing in my home, Spicer?"

"Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Chase… ah… I… um… I…. I'l leave now!"

Chase tightened his grip on the child.

"Ch-Chase?"

"Yes, Spicer?"

"Am I gonna die?"

Chase chuckled, "No, Jack… quite the opposite."

Thursday-

'_Is this thing running? Okay… hello, Jack… I just wanted to say… I hope you're happy. You won. Omi's gone… We can't find Dojo… Master Fung is completely lost… Kimiko was shipped off to Japan… Clay was crushed by his own element… Raimundo was murdered last week. I don't think I have to mention Wuya. After all, you were the one who blew a giant hole in her stomach. Ashley was found on the beach the other day, too. Half gone and her head is still missing… but you don't care. On the up-side, Jermaine became a professional basketball player. I'm still at Chase's Citadel, waiting for something. Though, you're probably just going to listen to this message and laugh. You read the paper still, right? If you do, you might see a new headline… Lamia Spicer, sister to the ruler of the world, found dead. I hope you're happy.' _Beeeeep _'Thursday, April first'_

Jack sighed and looked at the morning paper. He never answered the phone. Not since Chase decided to betray him and try to kill him in bed. He thought it could be Chase coming back. He couldn't bear that.

He stared in shock at the headline.

LAMIA SPICER FOUND DEAD IN LAND OF NOWHERE. SUSPECTED HOMOCIDE.

Retarded-

"Please tell you have a mental deficiency and you're not just retarded." Chase groaned.

Lamia glared, "Shut up, boy. Hannibal Bean brought you to me to _learn_. Not to be a smart a-"

"Then teach me!"

A small voice rose out the of darkness, "Um… can I help?"

Lamia summoned her blue flames in defense but saw it was only a child. She didn't lower her defenses completely, but she lowered them enough for him to approach, "What is your name, child?"

"My name is Jack Spicer… I was sent into the past but both of you… to stop you from killing each other and destroying the future."

Lamia glared, "I have had enough of time travelers! The last one almost got me murdered!"

"Tohomiko didn't know anything about the Heylin side! How could she have stopped you from becoming evil when she didn't know you?"

Lamia blinked, "You… you know Tohomiko?"

"Her name was Kimiko, but yes. And Chase, you must listen to lamia and do as she says. Everything…. Will you stop staring at me like you're going to eat me! I get that enough!" Jack crossed his arms in defense, "I'm not dragon food!"

"How do you know of Chase's dragon form?" Lamia demanded, grabbing the boy roughly and summoning her cold fire.

"I am your future Master, and you my Guardian."

"You are lying, boy! Do not tempt me!"

Jack smirked, "Ha, but you've already told me how to convince you. Your name is Lamia, you have no last name, you became evil by drinking the Gé lǐ fēn soup, which enables you to turn into a Griffin form, which is completely red with orange eyes and some battle scars. Your favorite color is red and you love playing card games. After killing you fellow monks you swore to Hannibal Bean you would never love again. Must I continue?"

"No, I believe you." Lamia said and let him go.

"Damn right you do." Jack smiled, "Now how about a little lesson in evil for my dear Chase?"

Chase smirked, "How about I teach you a lesson in my room?"

Lamia groaned, "Dude! Seriously! You have, like, the largest sex drive in the world!"

Spleen-

"I'm gonna say a word, and you tell me the first thing that comes to mind." Jack smiled. Chase nodded and Jack began, "Corn."

"Radish."

"Tuberculosis."

"Squirrel."

"Sex."

"Jack."

"Spleen."

"Blood."

"Dragon."

"Crocodile."

"Griffin."

"Annoying."

"Wuya."

"Murder."

"Cat."

"Chicken."

"Turkey."

"Cheeseburger."

"Teddy bear."

"Ninja Fred."

Jack paused. "What the hell is Ninja Fred?"

"Sometimes I wish I didn't know so much."

Salami-

"Chase?" … "Chase?" … "Chase!"… "Chase!"… "Dammit Chase, answer me!"

Chase blinked out of his trance and looked at his consort, "Hm?"

"What the hell was that?"

Chase shook his head, "You and Lamia are wearing off on me."

"How?"

"I just imagined destroying the Xiaolin with a giant salami."

**Advisor- Cont. of Aid and Self-employment. Wuya was fired, but won't leave the job… Well… wouldn't. I think Lamia convinced her well enough.**

**Unafraid- Before Wuya moved out and teamed up with Hannibal and before Lamia jumps in. Chase had a dream about Jack!**

**Thursday- Again, in a depressed mood. And, for some reason, I always have my characters either get murdered or commit suicide. Lamia was talking to Jack through his answering machine. She had left the message at midnight that day, on Jack's birthday, called the police, and decided to get in a fight with Hannibal and not try to win.**

**Retarded- Jack goes to the past on order of Lamia and Chase. Turns out Chase has always been horny for Jack.**

**Spleen- Have you ever played this game? Some of these reactions are mine. Like Turkey-Cheeseburger and Tuberculosis-squirrel. Oh, and he says dragon-crocodile because of Lamia and her yelling 'Glorified crocodile!' every time she hears someone talking about Chase's dragon form.**

**Salami- Gotta love it!**

**Chase: WTF is up with Salami?**

**Lamia: Jack, swear to me Thursday will never happen in real life. SWEAR IT!**

**Jack: I swear!**

**Chase: Well, you know the drill.**

**Lamia: Reviews feed the hobos.**

**Jack: Flames burn Chase's hair.**

**Chase: WHAT!**


End file.
